Cleopatra VII text message story: Cleopatra is unimpressed
A short, funny Tinder-style chat starring Cleopatra VII (69 to 30 BC), the last active ruler of Ptolemaic Egypt, with Marcus Antonius. The best-resourced person in the ancient world is the hardest person alive to impress with an opening line.
Read the chat
- Marcus Antonius: Hey Cleopatra. I like your barge
- Cleopatra: that is your opener
- Marcus Antonius: it is a very nice barge
- Cleopatra: I rule a kingdom of eight million people
- Marcus Antonius: I command legions
- Cleopatra: better. what do you do for fun
- Marcus Antonius: conquering things
- Cleopatra: and when you are not conquering
- Marcus Antonius: conquering more slowly
- Cleopatra: swipe left. kindly
Free to try, no account needed until you export.
Who was Cleopatra VII?
- She ruled Egypt for about twenty years and is said to have been the first of her family to learn the Egyptian language.
- She allied herself first with Julius Caesar and later with Mark Antony.
- She spoke several languages and managed her own court and fleet.
The chat is invented. Cleopatra VII never sent these messages, and the story is labelled as fiction wherever it appears.
How this chat is built
It runs 10 messages between Marcus Antonius and Cleopatra. Marcus Antonius writes 5 of them. The longest line is “I rule a kingdom of eight million people” (Cleopatra) and the shortest is “conquering things” (Marcus Antonius). The word “conquering” comes back 3 times, which is where the rhythm of the joke comes from. It closes on “swipe left. kindly” from Cleopatra.
It is shown in the Tinder look , one of the Tinder-style chat tools. In the editor you can switch it to any other look and the whole conversation follows.